I love you... I love you not

Iss. 1 Vol. 5

FW**C NEWS

*Post edited for content and offensive nature

Teacher in the News

James E... ***********************************************************

Investigation continues

The mugger on Richland strikes again!

An unknown individual has opened a very important can of worms for the gist. This is our first time diving into the world of investigative reporting. While I will make every effort to check our facts, again, and again, I cannot check them all. This is what we have so far:

1 am - David J. tries to sleep, is unsuccessful.

2 am- David J. leaves room 1-- (confidential) to use the restroom (investigation cannot say if person used stall or shower, still looking into it)

3 am- David J. sleeps.

7 am- I, personally, with no help from anyone interview an Hispanic housekeeper from 1203 Richland Ave. [where the purse snatcher struck secondly]. She said, and I quote, "This is awful. This is worse than the old lady I work for playing Guns and Roses music while I am cleaning the bathroom. I am so scared of where this is going." WOW! I am so proud that I was the first to bring you this information. Metro City cops have decided not to take this into evidence, but Richland Ave, please feel secure, I am on your side!

8 am- I take a break.

--END OF TRANSCRIPT--

Underground sources have made it very clear that Ben Wheeler is going to fake another seizure. Sources say, "There is no doubt in my mind..." and "I wouldn't doubt it" [please note that these comments were not made as a result of this story, but in a completely unrelated event]. As to the girl, the event, and the time, more is to come.

Almost newsworthy item of the day!

Amos and Andy Riley

We've successfully determined that Amon Riley is indeed Lance W. His brother Lyle W. will be refered to as Andy Riley and sister Laura will be called Aunt Jemima.

David and Hannah

David J. and Hannah P. were all set to go on the date Saturday night. There was an error in the story though, David did not ask Hannah on the date, rather it was the other way around. Hannah is rumored to have said, "Do you wanna go somewhere?" to which David replied, "yes". I am sorry for this error, but it does not take away from the overall buzz of the story. As more information comes in, a detailed; what happened, where did they go, when did they kiss... outline will be provided. [NOTE: some of those categories will not be included such as, what happened, where they went, and when did they kiss]